It's been a busy week getting ready for school and going out with friends since they are all back from abroad. I've been all over London in the past 5 days, Chinatown, Westminster, Camden just to name a few and so am really tired. I star school on monday and am kind of nervous but more excited. I can finally start sixth form! Consequently, (not that I haven't already), I'm going to make this a weekly blog. Super Junior came out with MAMACITA this week, which I absolutely love: it's so catchy and addictive. Wish Yesung was back though as I think that many of Kyuhyun's high notes would have been done better by him, but it is still an amazing song! 2 years was worth the wait.
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So I got my GCSE results yesterday. I feel like I should be happy, but I'm not. I got A*s, but was one mark sort on my English Language. I don't know how to feel about this, especially because so many of the not so clever people got straight A*s. It's making me reconsider who I am and who I want to be. I'm getting a remark, hopefully it'll raise my grade. I'm so confused about how I feel, and thought that maybe my thoughts would become clear today, so I didn't post yesterday. They haven't. On another note I've noticed many you tubers have stopped making their most popular videos or are making them less often. I wish they would stick to their roots and continue with what made them popular, I'm looking at you charlieissocoollike, simonandmartina, jacksgap etc. Like Kpop Music Mondays just don't happen anymore...Youtube; you have changed...
Today is one of those days, those days in which nothing seems to be going your way. Running Man hasn't been subbed, and I was having problems with myKSN this morning (one of my favourite subbing sites). Weekly Idol from last week hasn't been subbed either. It's cold and I have nothing to watch. Hopefully Roommate and Running Man will be out tomorrow, I just have to keep my fingers crossed. I really hope that tomorrow will be a better day.
It's been a long week of work experience. For the whole week I've been getting up at 6:30 AM to go to work with my mum and have been working/observing people in the labs. As my dream is to become a Chemistry research scientist, it was a valuable experience, but it did mean that I came home very late and tired everyday. I made friends with quite a few of the people I was observing, which lead to games and conversations, I think the funnest part was teaching the foreigners British slang words; it was funny to see what they thought words meant. english is a weird language... I got a couple of my GCSE results already and so far so good so now I just have to wait for Thursday to find out the rest of them. now excuse me as I need to catch up on the Kpop comebacks, debuts and dramas I have missed this week.
Short one today. Briefly went to the London Kpop meet yesterday: wasn't as good as I was hoping, it wasn't organised very well. The latest episode of We Got Married was really funny and awesome, can't wait for the next one! Tomorrow I start my work experience at my mum's work place, so for 1 week I'm gonna spend 24 hours with my mum, which is really good as we don't get to spend much time together because she works so much.
So I just want to start today with the question WHAT THE HELL DID SM DO TO TAEMIN's HAIR?! Like seriously! Now that that is out of the way, I'm really excited about tomorrow, going to the London Kpop Meet in Piccadilly, should be lots of fun and I should be able to make lots of new friends despite the fact I have to wake up slightly earlier to get ready. If I get back tomorrow in time I will definitely update you guys on how it went. I hope I have enough money.... fingers crossed. :)
Like quite a few BBC children I play a musical instrument, that being the piano. I'm kind f worried as today I think i finally woke up from my holiday bliss and realised that I haven't done much practice and I have a lesson next Wednesday. As I have referred to before I am worried of disappointing both my parents and my teacher and so in my head constantly tell myself to practice, however, like most normal teenagers I am quite lazy. Now I feel I have gone too far and am scared of practicing when my parents are there for fear that they'll know I haven't practiced, and not being bothered/ forgetting to practice when they are not. I am panicking but since my panic, I have practiced more today and hope that by the time my lesson comes around everything will be ok
So I'm hoping these introductions will get less awkward, don't know if they will, but yeah...Today was peaceful and good. Got around to watching Zhang Liyin's new music video which just made me cry buckets and buckets. I haven't cried at a music video in quite some time; films, tv shows :sure but not a music video, because they are generally too short. But if there is one thing that will make me cry it is sad films or music videos or just videos that are based on true stories, and that is just what Zhang Liyin's Agape (as in agape love) music video is. Knowing the background and the fact that the singer herself is from Sichuan where there was the 2008 earthquake just makes the music video sadder for me. I strongly recommend watch this music video to anyone who hasn't watched it yet. I finally managed to register on the new EXO fan base EXO-L! SM needs to pull themselves together: I mean it all started withe the SNSD dating scandals and then the Kris scandal, Baekyeon's scandal, Sulli's scandals, and lastly the Red Velvet scandals. I wish them luck but I honestly think that something needs to change within that company. . On a separate note, my friends in Scotland have just gotten their Nat 5 (National 5) results and they seemed quite happy with them, though knowing their results I don't really know why. I guess I have just been brought up with the Chinese way of thinking and expectations, because I know that if I got those results I would be upset. Of course this just makes me more nervous for my GCSE results which come out on the 21st. I so scared that I won't meet mine and my parents' expectations; as as any Chinese/Asian child will tell you the worst thing that could happen is disappointing your parents. What if I get a C in one subject? What if I get worse than a C? What if I get an A in Maths (my strongest subject? I'm scared but am putting on a brave front. I act confident in order to try and feel confident but what if I become an embarrassment? What will I do? These are the questions that have been plaguing me since the end of exams, and with results day fast approaching I'm wondering, how do I prepare for the fall? I guess I'll just have to wait it out
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September 2019
Lollikpop21 year old, 11 years since I stopped being clinically depressed, 9 since diagnosis. |