Today I just found out that my dad's departure for China in a month is not a holiday but rather a permanent move, with a new job. I knew of course that he was planning on moving back for sometime, and that he had planned a trip next month, for a month and a half: the same amount of time he normally plans his holidays back to China, but I didn't know that this was only because he's coming back for the holidays e.g. Christmas. He insists that he told me about this before: that this trip was his moving, but all the examples he's given me (2) have been things he was doing before he received the confirmation of the job, and also things that were very vague and not specific. I feel kind of betrayed that he never told me outright and that he assumed that I knew from his vague hints of "I want to go back to China to work"etc. and also that he doesn't think he's done anything wrong. my mum knew, my dad knew, how was I the only person who didn't know? How did he expect me to know? If I wasn't asking so many questions about his trip today would I have known before he left? Can I not be trusted? Am I not important enough to tell? I just don't understand why he wouldn't tell me. He was planning a holiday back before he even received the confirmation of the job; how was I suppose to know that the purpose of the trip back had changed? I feel so hurt, and betrayed and confused. He's trying to act like nothing's wrong, when it obviously is. Why wouldn't he tell me?....
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Finally time for a Kpop post!!! I'm going to keep it brief 1) Comebacks: Red Velvet's Dumb Dumb is so catchy! Seventeen have done it again an released amazing Manse Waiting for f(x) 2) Debuts: Excitedly waiting for icon's debut Day6 is really good but where is Twice? 3) So many CD's I want to buy but not enough money 4) I'm so sad I'm too broke to go see Infinite when they come to London! Bad is such a great song, I wish I could see it live 5) Kpop is keeping me alive during UCAS 6) Why are there no good Kdramas on? |
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September 2019
Lollikpop21 year old, 11 years since I stopped being clinically depressed, 9 since diagnosis. |