After 6 days without internet I am finally back online. I've missed the comfort of the internet so greatly these past few days; a place to escape and live in an alternate world or a connection to a world on the other side of the world very different to your own. At least through this difficult time I had the music I had downloaded onto my iPod. Whenever I feel sad or depressed I tend to listen to music that will actually make me feel worse, it's kinda like a comfort blanket if you like, it allows me to get out all my feelings and also blame those feelings on the music instead of reality. During these past couple of days, the 2 songs that have become musts on my playlist are EXO(-M's) My Turn to Cry and Baby Don't Cry. Yes I know there is a theme there with crying, but the words are so moving and just comforting in an unexplainably weird way. In terms of school, life is still pretty bad. My grades have improved but are still WAY below where they should be, and I've lost interest in the subjects that used to make me happy, enthusiastic and excited. I've quit my maths club and now do no school clubs and I plan to just try and make it to the end of this year, or the end of this life. Perseverance. I'm gonna go listen to some more EXO now, and next week is my parents evening....which should be......interesting?
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September 2019
Lollikpop21 year old, 11 years since I stopped being clinically depressed, 9 since diagnosis. |