Sometimes, I feel like I've failed everyone. Tonight is one of those nights. I have failed my friends, with one actively avoiding me now, for reasons unknown. I have failed my mother, who keeps going on and on about the fact that I was unable to find a summer job, and how I am just wasting my holiday away. I have failed myself, as I was unable to get a job or internship, and was unable to keep those closest to me from hating me. Tonight, I feel like a failure. A failure who deserves to be deleted. When an error appears, the first thing to do is find and delete the mistake, before replacing it. I am that error. I SO wish I could give up everything, and disappear from the world, undo the error, prevent further failure. I REALLY wish I could...
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September 2019
Lollikpop21 year old, 11 years since I stopped being clinically depressed, 9 since diagnosis. |