So it turns out revision didn't actually properly start and now I'm behind. My laptop's also been acting up which isn't great fun, and I've started feeling kinda empty again which really isn't good in the lead up to exams. I'm scared of the next couple of months; april, may, june. I'm going to have exams and a very important lab which will last a couple of weeks, and I hate labs. I'm actually dreading it more than my exams. The pressure of labs is so intense, the pressure to get things done in time, to get the correct results/ results that agree with literature values, the pressure of having to get some things right first time cause there isn't enough reactant, the pressure of working with a complete stranger as the lab partners are assigned randomly; it's giving me nightmares already and there are still 2 weeks to go. I'm scared and I feel like I don't have someone there to keep me grounded from being scared and getting in my own head cause everyone else is busy with exams. It's tough but I'm sure I'll make it through; I always do in the end.
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September 2019
Lollikpop21 year old, 11 years since I stopped being clinically depressed, 9 since diagnosis. |