First day of exams tomorrow...I really should be sleeping, but I'm too nervous to. I've just come of an internet argument? debate? on Kim HyunJoong and his assault of his ex-girlfriend. I thought I would share my opinion on here before I go to sleep just to get it out there. Honestly I feel sorry for the woman. I can't relate to the physical abuse on any scale having never been physically bullied, however the abuse online that she is getting it unnerving to me. As I'm sure at least some of you who have read my story will know I have suffered emotionally quite a lot in my short lifetime, and I just don't like to see anyone suffer in the same way. So, yes, I'm frustrated at her for filing lawsuits in a weird order, for giving unnecessary statements, because for me...for me...it just kind of feels like she is putting herself in a situation to receive that abuse, to receive that emotional abuse from deluded fangirls who I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I understand that she is doing the best she can, I do. I understand that I can't blame her and I don't really. I understand that there is no way to deal with this that would mean she wouldn't receive abuse in some form, but it doesn't stop me from being frustrated that she, in her scared, panicked state has chosen to do things this way, in a way which would cause perhaps the most abuse to be thrown at her. It frustrates me that she probably doesn't have that support by her side at the moment that would allow her to think things through and not panic or be scared and do things in a weird order but rather in a logical order where people would have no choice but to face the facts as opposed to choosing to bash her. Yes, this is a naive way of thinking, but I just feel like I wish this was all dealt with better so that she would suffer less, as the victim. I just wish others wouldn't bash her for her mistakes that she has made in this panic and scared state, I wish she had that support to have acted differently to save herself the abuse. I'm not bashing her, but rather stating that she has made some mistake due to her panic, which I believe has led to more abuse to her which pains my heart. I just wish she doesn't go through any of the emotional trauma and pain. I'm saying she has made mistakes that frustrate me because it means that she is going to get more abuse and I know she's going to get more abuse, and I wish she would have done things differently to prevent that abuse. I'm only trying to prevent her from the pain that I can relate to/know. I don't know what domestic abuse is like, and so I cannot relate to that and I don't know how it feels if it would be possible to act differently. All I know is that I am trying to protect her from the pain that I know all too well.
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September 2019
Lollikpop21 year old, 11 years since I stopped being clinically depressed, 9 since diagnosis. |