I'm cured they said, I'm cured of depression.
I'm cured in the sense that there is no longer a chemical imbalance in my brain, however, do I still get suicidal thoughts; yes, to I still think about how I can kill myself; yes, do I still feel hopeless about my future; yes. I still have all of the same thoughts and feelings as when I was depressed, however I don't have them constantly anymore. They are always in the back of my head, but they aren't in the foreground constantly like they used to be.
I'm convinced that one day I'll kill myself, but I will only let myself do it once I've been remembered. Once I've left my footprints in the sand.