My friend also seem to be in bad places at the moment which isn't helping and I feel like I have to be strong for them but I'm really struggling myself. I don't want to do exams. I really need June to be over already and summer to properly arrive. I really need a reprieve from all the stress and anxiety I have built up... I need an emergency help button, an escape route if you will...
I can't believe it's been exactly 3 months since I was last here... I'm back because I need an outlet (is there ever any other reason?). I feel like crying 75% on my day and the other 25% is spent with dread, anxiety and anger (mainly at myself). Life hasn't been easy recently. Exams are approaching and I am not ready, I failed to get my friend tickets to a concert she really wanted to go to (she was in an exam when the tickets came out) and I feel so bad about it. My life feels like it's kind of falling apart again and I keep trying to stick it back together but it's not working. I feel like I want to press a button and just escape, or say a safe word/sentence a la I'm a Celeb, and just be removed by a higher power. Sadly life doesn't work like that....
My friend also seem to be in bad places at the moment which isn't helping and I feel like I have to be strong for them but I'm really struggling myself. I don't want to do exams. I really need June to be over already and summer to properly arrive. I really need a reprieve from all the stress and anxiety I have built up... I need an emergency help button, an escape route if you will...
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September 2019
Lollikpop21 year old, 11 years since I stopped being clinically depressed, 9 since diagnosis. |